The following is a letter from Ben, a soldier our group of conservative ladies have been in contact with for over a year. This is his last letter as his assignmnent in Afghanistan is over:
So here I sit in Kyrgyzstan at Manas Air Base safely out of the war torn Afghanistan. I take pause and collect my thoughts as I am sitting on a deck, utilizing wireless internet, feeling the forgotten breeze, and enjoying a patient cup of coffee. I reminisce on the last year and all that I have learned about myself and others, things that I will never forget. I remember with a smile waking up most mornings in my cage (yes, when not sleeping on the ground, I slept in a cage) next to LT Bundermann, a battle buddy if there ever was one. Every day, we would begin and end the day by complaining about the challenges that were sure to await us outside “the wire”. Some nights we fell asleep talking about loved ones back home, some nights it was arguing about exactly “what the hell are we doing here”, and “is it worth the ultimate sacrifice”. However, looking back, I can honesty say, more often than not, it was falling asleep while laughing about events that had since transpired or making fun of someone or something. At these times, I could truly say….this ain’t that bad. Now, we both will be coming back home and we will be forced to become “mature officers”, instead of Lieutenant, they will call us Captain starting June 1st. The Army has a very distinct need for Lieutenant’s, someone to “take the hill”, someone full of piss and vinegar, someone that just won’t quit. I can say that the Army has taken that out of us all over the last year, its time to move on.
So, this culmination update, I’ve been waiting to write for the last 12 months. The year was filled with ups and downs, tears cried, gallons of sweat spent, and bloodshed. Through the heart wrenching pain, to the relief of victory; I along with my men have experienced every possible feeling and emotion along this journey. We have grown as brothers along this road that has definitely been well traveled. Words cannot possibly express the true feelings that were experienced throughout the past year, however I will try to summarize to the best of my ability.
Joy: Right before we leave on every single mission, I do a patrol brief that covers all contingency plans for any situation that we might encounter. Upon completion, we mount our horses (the trucks) and leave the gate into untamed pastures. As we travel south towards my area of operations, I first must travel through the village of Jabeh. As we roll down the route, I look outside the window noticing beautiful little boys and girls eagerly waving at our convoy and smiling knowing that our presence means safety for them. The feeling that this gives us is absolutely unbelievable. The children in Jabeh are innocent (unlike other areas), they have felt the prosperity that we can bring them if they work with us, instead of fight against us. This is a picture of the many successes that we have experienced. The simple things like seeing all the children in their blue traditional Afghan dress walking to school around 0630hrs, eagerly awaiting their teachers, hoping that harm did not come to them during the night.
Tension: As we continue south down the MSR (main supply route), we come across check point lion’s den, which is an Afghan National Army held road check point. At this point we are starting to move into the uncontrollable areas of the Southern Naray District. I call to my lead truck to stop the convoy. We all take a moment to do a quick scan of the valley and danger points that await us further down the valley. The hair on one’s neck is beginning to tingle. Once all of my vehicles report “negative enemy contact”, we begin movement towards Lower Zangerbosheh.
Fear/Awareness: We have now passed check point 2 and we are truly all very in touch with our surroundings at this point. We have had many meetings with the enemy in this section of our area and we are poised and determined to not let the enemy get the best of us today. The gunner’s are scanning their sectors, the drivers are looking for any clues of upcoming ambush points and the truck commanders are battle tracking with their maps and sending reports. The jokes and goofing off that are staples of a patrol, immediately stop at check point 2. Soldier’s and leaders have fear, but fear is good, fear keeps you ready for anything that might come your way, fear lets you know that there is something to fight for, most importantly, fear forces awareness.
Determination: We have now entered lower Zangerbosheh and are beginning to set up our vehicle security positions. At this point, I call for all of my dismounts to leave their armored vehicles and to get on the ground with myself. We are going to the village of Saw, a place that can only be reached by foot, across a bridge that the Taliban has blown up 3 times because they feel we should not be using it. I gather my men, and we set security on both sides of the bridge. We cross safely without incident and continue on route jalapeno. A route that we named for the “spicy” challenges it has placed in front of us. We must be motivated and determined to reach our objective in the village of Saw. We finally make it without incident, we establish security, and I begin discussing with local leaders the problems of the area.
Frustration: As I sit and discuss security, economic, and Government Issue’s over a glass of chai tea, I begin to become very frustrated. My men have been engaged by the village of Saw more times than I can count and their leaders constantly plead their innocence. I am frustrated; frustrated that I have to remain committed to this village even though they can’t commit to me. I can’t blame them, I leave the village and Taliban leaders move in and threaten them. It’s a never ending circle; more Soldiers are needed to solve this problem. I leave the village and assemble my men to move back to the vehicles.
These emotions are just a few of what we experience on a daily basis. We have had many successes here, however sometimes we forget those same successes when we think about things like October 3rd, a day that will be etched into our hearts and souls for the rest of all of our lives. We lost 8 heroes that day and every one of us involved changed forever. It is an experience unlike any other to be charged with the health and welfare of 22 warriors, a challenge that doesn’t end until all are back home. Some people might say, “you could have stayed in the intelligence field, what the hell are you thinking”. The truth is, I am glad I became a Cavalry Officer, no one can ever take away from us the fact that we actually fought, and we sought out the challenge, accepted it, and in most cases, eliminated it.
What we have all experienced: being away from loved one’s, challenges of war, these feelings and experiences are only rivaled by the experiences of our loved one’s back home. Our family and friends go through a tremendous amount while we are gone; they too feel joy, tension, fear, determination, and frustration. I cannot imagine what it is like to not hear from us for a few days and have to watch the news to see the travesties of what is going on here. Our families and friends have also sacrificed and I am glad that it is over. Thank you, words cannot express the level of love and care we have felt from back home.
For the final time, so long…Ben
